Browse Month

June 2017

A glass of scotch with a drop of water

An older woman was seated in a bar on cruise ship, and ordered a shot of scotch with one drop of water.
Then she added, “I’m celebrating my birthday today.”
Several men nearby congratulated her and offered to buy her additional drinks to celebrate. The bar tender
said, “Do you want them to be the same?”
“Yes, make each of them the same, a shot of scotch and a drop of water.”
One of the gentlemen seated nearby said, “That’s pretty unusual. Why do you only have one drop of water?”
“Well,” she answered, “at my age I’ve learned to hold my liquor, but holding my water is another issue.”

Buffalo Wings

I don’t know about you, but I think that Buffalo wings taste a lot like chicken.

Note: I’ve heard from a reliable source that restaurants used to throw out the chicken wings
until a place in Buffalo. NY (hence the name Buffalo wings) spiced them up and began selling Buffalo wings. It has
since caught on all over the country.

Hyphenated words

I mentioned in a previous item about the word cater-cornered, which means diagonally across from, the correct
word for kitty cornered and catty cornered among others.
I said that I didn’t know any other hyphenated words, but on the internet I found the following hyphenated
words for you to note.
They are examples:

One-half, Mother-in-law
Eighty-six, One-third
Merry-go-round, Well-being
Mass-produced, Over-the-counter
Daughter-in-law,

A Mae West Story

There have been many stories about Mae West, a movie star of the 30s and maybe into the
40s. She played roles of being a siren, and even a vamp of some notoriety.
She was beautiful and very popular in her day.
In an interview one time it is said that she was asked about her wild roles in the movies.
She replied, “Well, I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.”

What I learned from Noah’s Ark

1. Don’t miss the boat. The unicorn missed it and look what happened to him.
2. Don’t forget that we are all in the same boat.
3. Plan ahead: It wasn’t raining while Noah was building the ark.
4. Stay fit: When you’re 600 years old someone might ask you to do something really Big.
5. dON’T LISTEN TO CRITICS: jUST GET ON WITH WHAT HAS TO BE DONE.

Knowing your movie stars

A gentleman went into a barbershop and was taken immediately.
After the apron was placed over him, the barber asked, “How do you
want your hair cut?”
The man said, “I want a Tony Curtis haircut.” (In case you don’t know, Tony
was a big star in Hollywood some years ago.)
As the barber buzzed and snipped, the customer fell asleep.
When he woke up, the barber handed him a mirror.
He was totally bald, and screamed at the barber.
“Bald! I can’t believe it. You idiot, don’t you know who Tony Curtis is?”
“Of course, I know who Tony Curtis is,” answered the barber. “I saw him
three times in the ‘King and I.'”
(In case you didn’t see The King and I, it starred Yul Brynner who was
completely bald.)