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December 2017

Repartee between Churchill and Shaw

British wit:
I heard about this interchange between George Bernard Shaw and Winston Churchill that I find entertaining.
Winston Churchill received two tickets for opening night at a George Bernard Shaw Play with a note. The note read, as nearly as I can remember: “Here are two tickets to the opening night of my most recent play so you can bring a friend, if you have one.”
Churchill returned the tickets with a note, as well. The note read, “I’m sorry I can’t make it that evening, but please exchange these tickets for the second night, if there is one.”

A Kennedy era joke

When John Kennedy was elected president, the first Catholic in that position, the jokes soon arrived in large numbers.
One that I recall was this one:
“You know, Kennedy is planning legislation to outlaw bowling in this country.”
“Yeah, he’s having all the bowling balls confiscated to make a giant rosary for the Statue of Liberty.”

The Woodie

Two morons bought a woodie, you know, an automobile with polished wood sides. As soon as they got it home they began to remove the wood paneling with crow bars.
When they completed their work and all the wood was removed, they studied the way the car looked.
One said to the other, “You know, I think it looked better in the crate.”

Memory loss

Will Forgetful goes to the doctor and says, “My memory is shot. I can hardly remember one thing just a short time after I hear it.”
The doctor says, “How long has this been going on?”
Will answers, “How long has what been going on?”