Browse Month

July 2018

Bob Hope and Dorothy Lamour

Bpb Hope was asked by a friend, “What went through your mind, Bob, the first time you got a look at Dorothy Lamour in that Sarong.”
“I never gave it a seond thought,” answered Hope.
“Truly?”
“Sure. I was too busy with the first one.”

The fussy eyeglasses patient

A very fussy about his glasses guy came in to see the optometrist every other day to get his glasses adjusted.
It was always too tight or two loose, crooked or just needed cleaning, but he was consistent in returning.
Each time, the patient would ask, “How much do I owe you, Doc,” and the optometrist would answer, “No charge.”
After a year of this, the fussy guy asked, “You know, you never charge me anything, and I come in pretty often.”
“That’s ok” said the doctor, “You’re a good patient. I wish I had a thousand like you.”
“I haven’t paid you anything,” replied the patient. “Why would you want a thousand like me.”
The Doctor of optometry answered, “Because I have 5,000 like you now.”

A day of fishing

Phil came home from a day’s fishing.
His wife, Ethel, asked him, “How many did you catch today?”
Phil answered, “No luck, I didn’t catch anything.”
Ethel replies, “You mean that you spent the whole day fishing and didn’t catch anything?”
“Well,” answered Phil, “I’ve seen you come home after a day of shopping when you didn’t buy anything.”