A fine gentleman passed away, and found himself at the pearly gates. He was welcomed into heaven by St. Peter who had a guide show him around. He was not particularly impressed by the solemness of most
of the things in heaven. The only recreation was golf, which he never played before, and an extensive library, which he never found of interest. After a few days of sheer boredom, the gentleman saw
St. Peter, and ran up to ask him a question.
“Pardon me for being a bit surprised about the limited number of activities here in heaven, but I am a bit taken aback about it,” he said.
“Is there any alternative?”
St. Peter answered, “Why, yes. There is another alternative. You could go down to hell.”
“Oh my,” stated the gent. “Is there a way that I could just visit the place without making a commitment ahead of time?”
“Certainly,” replied St. Peter. “I can give you a one day pass to visit the place.”
“Great, when can I go for the visit?”
“Tomorrow morning at 10 am I’ll have everything ready for your day trip.”
The next morning, promptly at 10 the gentleman was taken to an elevator for the ride down.
Arriving in Hell, he was surprised to see that he had entered a large banquet room, where people were all dressed up, chatting in small groups and holding their drinks as appetizers were being passed around.
Pleasantly introduced around, he joined a small group who just happened to be discussing things of his personal interest, was holding his favorite drink and enjoying some of the canapes.
After a delightful day at the party, he returned to heaven and sought out St. Peter.
“You know,” he said to the saint, “I really enjoyed my visit below, and I think I’ll choose to move there. I’ve made up my mind, and I’d like to have you make arrangements for me to go there permanently.”
“OK,” said St. Peter. You can go as early as tomorrow.”
So, the change was made, and the gentleman got on the elevator again, and went down.
But, when the doors opened, he as totally shocked. It was a dark hallway, quite wide, with a surface of bricks, with people hanging from hooks in the walls, all moaning. As he walked along with a guide, he heard screaming and shouting, and saw torture being conducted.
Turning to the guide he said, “I don’t understand. Yesterday I entered a banquet room with food and drinks. What is this?”
“Well,” said the guide, “That was our public relations department. This is customer service.”