TO BE A SUPERB GOLFER

Three men were approaching the first tee, when another man came running over and asked if he could join them. The 3 agreed,

and they played all 18 holes. The newcomer had a poor score, but the three original players each had scores that were of professional quality.

Sitting at the coffee house after the game the newcomer asked how they had played so well.

‘”Well,” said one of them, “we are all religious Jews. We attend all services, belong to B’nai B’rith, teach Sunday School, do our daily rituals, and are active in the temple. Therefore, God has bestowed our talent for golf to where we have become excellent players.”

The newcomer asked, “If I converted to Judaism and did all those things you do, do you think I could become an excellent player like you three?”

“Of course,” was the answer.So, he joined a temple, converted and began to do all the things a religious Jewish person would do.

The 4 men continued to meet and monitor his progress.

After several months, they noticed no improvement in his game, and even the new convert began to complain about the lackof progress. “I don’t understand it,” he said. I do everything as you told me, and yet there is no improvement in my game.”

“Well,” said one of the others, “Which temple do you belong to?”

“Temple Beth Shalom,” he answered.

“That’s the problem,” answered one of them. “That one’s for Tennis.”

Calories are tiny creatures that llive in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.

A robber goes up to the cashier and says, “Give me all the money in the cash drawer.”
The well trained cashier says, “Do you want fries with that?”

A teenager comes home from school and announces to his mother, “I got a part in a play.”
“How nice,” said the mother, “What part did you get?”
“I play the husband,” says the lad.
“Well, that’s ok this time,” answers the mother, “but next time I hope you get a speaking part.”

A Husband and wife couple are having a quiet dinner at home.
In the middle of everything, the husbands says, “You know, I don’t like your brother.”
The wife answers, “Well then, “Just eat the noodles.”

Note: Some people think riddles are jokes. They may be funny, but then they’re funny riddles.
How about this one:
What is red, yellow,yellow, green, blue, black, orange brown, purple and gray?

: Answer: elephant holding a box of crayons.