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Where does grandma live?

A four year old child was chatting with a neighbor one day, and mentioned to the neighbor that his grandma was coming soon for a visit.
“Where does your grandmother live? asked the neighbor.
“She lives at the airport,” answered the child. When she wants to visit, daddy goes to the airport to get her, and when she leaves, he takes her back to the airport.

The mechanic and the Heart surgeon

A eell known cardiologist was in the shop of a car dealer when a mechanic called him over.
“You see this engine, Dr. Wilson?” said the mechanic. “When it came in here it was all jammed up, dried out from lack of lubrication. But, when I finished working on it, all the parts were cleaned and well oiled, and the engine now runs like new. So, you see Doc, we both do the same kind of work.”
“Try rebuilding the engine while it’s still running,” said the doctor as he strode away.

The baseball team in a slump

The baseball team was in a terrible batting slump.
So, the manager wanted them to practice more, and set up the pitching machine and told them to each take a turn.
The pitching machine had a no-hitter that day.

A gorilla goes into a bar

A gorilla enters a bar, sits down on a bar stool.
The bartender, not wanting to upset the gorilla with questions, merely asks, “What’ll you have?”
The gorilla says, “I’d like a martini.”
The bartender sets down his drink, and the gorilla hands him a $20 bill.
Thinking the gorilla won’t know the difference, the bartender gives him a $1 bill for his change.
Then, to make conversation, the bartender says, “You know, we don’t get many gorillas who come here.”
“I’m not surprised,” answers the gorilla. “At $19 a drink.”

Praying for luck

A loser in Vegas saw a man counting a large roll of bills, and went up to him and asked what his secret is to winning. The man says, “It’s easy. Before I go to gamble, I go to church and pray fervently, and then I can’t lose. You should try it.”
So, the next day the loser went to a church, and prayed fervently. But when he went to gamble he still lost. Very upset, the man happened to run into the lucky guy and told him he lost even though he did exactly as the fellow told him.
“Where did you play?” the lucky guy asked. At the 4 Queens Casino, downtown.”
“And what church did you pray at?”
“The Guardian Angel Cathedral.”
“Well, no wonder you lost. That one’s for Caesar’s Palace.”

The Hair Restorer

A baldheaded man asked the druggist for a good hair restorer. The druggist proudly touts a very expensive brand.
“Great,” says the man, “But does it really work?”

“Does it really work?” asked the druggist. “Let me tell you how great it works. I accidentally put some on my comb, and now it’s a brush.”