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Why did you die?

A middle aged man is kneeling at a gravesite in a cemetery, and sobbing and pleading with the question, “Oh, Why did you die?” over and over.
Another man viewing the scene went over to him and said, “This must be the grave of a very close friend or relative.”
The sobbing man stopped, and answered, “No, I never met the man.”
Perplexed by his answer, the visitor said, “Well, then who’s buried here?”
The pleading man answered, “My wife’s first husband.”

Reading in the John

Bill came over to Max’s house to see him. After knocking on the door, his wife answered, and explained that Max was in the bathroom, but he went in there to just read because he took a bunch of books in there with him.
So, Bill entered the bathroom and was surprised to see Max reading the bible while soaking in the bathtub.
Bill said after viewing the scene, “You know, Max. That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen, reading the bible in the bathtub.”
Max pointed a finger at Bill and said, “That shows you how much you know, wise guy. I’m doing this under doctor’s orders.”
“What kind of doctor’s order can this be?” countered Bill.
“The Doctor told me,” replied Max, “to take a hot bath every day religiously.”