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A dumb blonde Joke: Buying draperies

I know, I know, all blondes are not dumb.
This blonde went into a drapery store and took an hour to pick out her pattern.
“How long will these drapes be?” asked the clerk.
“About 13 inches,” she answered.
“Really,” said the clerk. What’s it for?
“It’s for my computer,” she answered.
“Look, Lady, people don’t put drapes on their computers.”
“Hello,” she said, “They’re windows.”


Note: all blondes are not stupid. But, there are some dumb blondes, even though they’re rare. So, when I refer to a dumb blonde, I don’t plan on an outcry of denial, since it doesn’t apply to all blondes.
For example: This dumb blonde went into a bar and told the crowd of imbibers, “I know the capital of every state in the Union.”
So, one drunk yelled out, “What’s the capital of Michigan.”
“Oh,” she said, “That’s easy. M.”

Why did you die?

A middle aged man is kneeling at a gravesite in a cemetery, and sobbing and pleading with the question, “Oh, Why did you die?” over and over.
Another man viewing the scene went over to him and said, “This must be the grave of a very close friend or relative.”
The sobbing man stopped, and answered, “No, I never met the man.”
Perplexed by his answer, the visitor said, “Well, then who’s buried here?”
The pleading man answered, “My wife’s first husband.”

Reading in the John

Bill came over to Max’s house to see him. After knocking on the door, his wife answered, and explained that Max was in the bathroom, but he went in there to just read because he took a bunch of books in there with him.
So, Bill entered the bathroom and was surprised to see Max reading the bible while soaking in the bathtub.
Bill said after viewing the scene, “You know, Max. That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen, reading the bible in the bathtub.”
Max pointed a finger at Bill and said, “That shows you how much you know, wise guy. I’m doing this under doctor’s orders.”
“What kind of doctor’s order can this be?” countered Bill.
“The Doctor told me,” replied Max, “to take a hot bath every day religiously.”