Free homes for the little people

Do you remember the dwarf man on the show Fantasy Island? Well, rumor has it that
he made a lot of money on the show, and decided to build a little community of little
people who didn’t do as well as he. So he bought a large lot, and built a large number
of little condos, which he gave away free to small people who were down on their luck.
It was a small community, that was called: Stay Free Mini Pads.

How did the car get in the kitchen?

Phil walked into his house after work and was shocked to find that his wife’s car was in the kitchen.
“Oh, Greta,” he yelled to his wife. “Come in here.”
“Yes, Phil,” she answered coyly as she joined him in the kitchen.
“How in the world did you get the car into the kitchen?” he asked sternly.
“Well,” she answered, “when I passed through the dining room, I made a left turn.”

Water in the carburetor

Ethel from San Diego called up her husband. Tom on her cell phone.
“Tom,” she said, “The car won’t start.”
So, Tom answered, as any husband would, “Let it set for a moment before you
try starting again.”
“I’ve tried that, and it still won’t work. I think there’s water in the carburetor”
“You know, Ethel, it takes a mechanic years of study and work to come up with a diagnosis that there’s water in the carburetor,”
Tom added like an expert. “Where’s the car now?”
Rather offhandedly, Ethel answered, “At the bottom of Lake Murray.”

The Mailman and the women in his route

A husband, Bill, came home from work one day, and said to his wife, Joanne,”I had an interesting event today,”
“That sounds rare for you,” she replied.
“It was,” he answered. “You’ll never guess who I met at lunch. It was George, our mailman.”
“Wow, what a coincidence,” answered Joanne.
“I was just starting lunch when he came in to the restaurant, and I asked if he’d like to join me.”
“So, we chatted during the whole time. He said something rather interesting.”
Bill continued, “He said he has been smooching daily with every woman on his route except for one.”
Then he looked over at his wife waiting for a response.
She seemed deep in thought, and suddenly spoke up.
“I’ll bet it’s that snooty Mrs. Olsen on the corner.”

The Priest and the IRS

Father O’Sullivan got a phone call from an IRS agent.
“I’m agent Charles Smith from the Internal Revenue Service, and we’re asking about one of your parishioners.”
“Which one?” asked the Priest.
“Did Sean O’Leary donate $10,000 to your church,” asked the agent.
“No,” answered Father O’Sullivan, “But, he will.”

Where did our parents get entertainment?

Tom and Elizabeth, siblings of the McCarthy family in Ireland, were discussing the entertainment value of modern techology.
Tom said, “The computer, our cell phones and color television have provided us moderns with great entertainment. I often
wondered where our parents got their entertainment before these items were invented.”
“You’re right,” said Elizabeth, “We should look into this curious thing.”
“Well,” said Tom, “I already discussed this with most of our other 18 brothers and sisters, and they had no idea where
our parents got their entertainment during the years before technology.”

Another Indian Story

A young Indian boy asked his father, “Tell me, Father, why do we have such unusual names?”
“Well,” said the father, “We name our offspring after things in nature that we see when a child is born.
For example, when your sister was born I looked out and saw a silver cloud in the sky. That’s why your
sister is called Silver Cloud. And when your brother was born I looked out and saw a black mountain. That’s
why your brother’s name is Black Mountain.
Do you follow what I’m saying Two Dogs Fighting?”

When Kennedy became president

When John Kennedy became president, he was young and a Catholic, so the jokes abounded.
1. Did you hear Kennedy has banned bowling in America? Well, he did. He’s going to confiscate all bowling balls and make
a giant Rosary for the Statue of Liberty.
2. Did you hear that Kennedy is putting all new Urinals in the White House? “I don’t know what that is, I’m not Catholic.”
3. You know that Kennedy is so young that when he wants to go to a cabinet meeting he has to get a note from his mother.
There were many others, but I thought you’d enjoy these until I remember more of them.