On a Las Vegas Street, a fellow approached a well dressed man and asked, “Could you please help me with a few dollars so I could get a good meal?”
The gentleman put his hand in his pocket, but then stopped and said, “How do I know you won’t spend it on gambling?”
The beggar said, “Oh, Gambling money I’ve got, I just need money for food.”

The bar was crowded, and a blonde stood up and said, “I know the capital of every state in the Union.”
One fellow spoke up and said, “What’s the Capital of Wisconsin?”
The blonde anssered, “That’s easy: W.

Adam had an audience with God, and had a question.
He asked, “How come Eve is so pretty and can sing so beautifully, and loves taking care of the house and the kids?”
God answered, “Well, Adam, I wanted to be sure you’d like her.”
“I see,” said Adam. I suppose that’s why she makes some great meals for me and smiles a lot.”
“Exactly,” answered God.
“Well then,” responded Adam, “How come you made her so stupid?”
God answered, “I wanted to be sure she’d like you!”

Two blondes were parked at a drive-in movie, waiting for the movie, “Closed for winter” to begin.

Two fellows who shared an apartment, were having breakfast, when one said, “I dreampt last night that I went to Disneyland and had a lot of fun.”
The second fellow said, “As soon as I fell asleep, I dreampt that there was a knock at my door. When I answered it, there were two beautiful girls who suggested we had a party. So, I invited them in and we had some great food, music and dancing and really had a great time.”
The first fellow said, “Why didn’t you have me join in?”
The second guy said, “I would have, but you were at Disneyland.”

The lesson in Sunday School was all about the devil.
Two of the students from the class were talking about it on the way home.
One said, “Do you really believe all that stuff they told us about the devil?”
“Nah,” answered the other. “It’s probably like Santa Claus, it’s your father.”